A Humorous Look at What Missionary Life is Like

33 Signs You Might  Be A Missionary (Or a Missionary Kid) If…
  1. You can’t answer the question, “Where are you from?”   
  2. You speak two languages, but can’t spell in either. 
  3. You’ve home schooled your children going 65 mph down a highway in a minivan.
  4. You read National Geographic and recognize someone. 
  5. You have a time zone app on your cell phone. 
  6. You consider a city 500 miles away to be “very close”. 
  7. You watch nature documentaries, and think about how good that animal would taste if it were fried. 
  8. You can cut grass with a machete, but can’t start a lawnmower. 
  9. You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel. 
  10. You have friends from or in 29 different countries.
  11. You sort your friends by continent. 
  12. You know that furlough is not a vacation. 
  13. You know how to pack. 
  14. Fitting 15 or more people into a car seems normal to you. 
  15. You refer to gravel roads as highways.
  16. You don’t think that two hours is a long sermon.
  17. You feel odd being in the ethnic majority. 
  18. Your life story includes “Then we went to” at least five times.
  19. You know the difference between 110 and 220 volts.
  20. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport.
  21. You go to a church and find your picture on the bulletin board.
  22. You can’t wait to leave the States and go “home.”
  23. You have to fight panic when people drive on the right hand side of the road.
  24. You’ve been lost in a large foreign airport and knew what to do.
  25. Your suitcase has eighteen airline tags on it.
  26. Your family sends you boxes of macaroni and cheese for your birthday.
  27. A national has said, “I knew an American once,” and asked if you knew him.
  28. When you see a decorative rock retaining wall and you start hunting for tarantulas.
  29. All preaching sounds better under a corrugated roof.
  30. You get excited about finding Dr. Pepper at the grocery story.
  31. (For kids) Your Dad scolds you in a foreign language.
  32. You’ve ever dreamed in a foreign language.
  33. You know that having a nice car is safer but will cause you to lose support.
There's a few animals in Haiti...
You get the idea.  Besides that mongoose, there isn't any wildlife.
[This is my dad...circa mid-1980's!]
Yeah, there will be bugs...
But they aren't all bad. 
​Once you get used to them!